When the Nativity Play Turned bad
by BatsuBatsu13
Summary: All Levi had to do was make sure that the Nativity play went smoothly for one night, yet within the first five minutes it all fell apart. AU where Levi is a teacher covering for Petra's kindergartners class. Written for Day 18 of the Livejournal Advent Challenge.


Levi knew it was a terrible idea to leave him in charge of this year's Nativity play by the kindergartners. It was bad enough that he had to deal with fourth graders for the majority of the school year, but dealing with these brats was insane. He'll never understand why Petra thought it would be a good idea for him to cover for her while she was off sick.

Within the first five minutes it had all gone downhill once Krista, dressed as the angel Gabriel, walked on stage to tell the Virgin Mary (Mikasa) about the news of her pregnancy. Once the little blonde made eye contact with the audience of parents and teachers, who were staring right back at her, she burst into tears from stage fright.  
Levi let out a sigh as he watched Mikasa, unfazed by the loud crying, leaned over towards her and announced in a monotone voice;

"What's that angel? You want me to go to Bethlehem to have my holy baby? Ok – I'll go get my boyfriend and go."

_'Well done Mikasa for your fantastic improvisation'_, the already aggravated teacher thought sarcastically – even though he had to admit that it was nice that there was one kid trying to keep it together.

Levi was just about to step forward to pull the still-sobbing Krista off stage when Ymir waddled on in her big glittery star costume - who then grabbed the tearful girl's hand and lead her off stage in an awkward silence. Seeing that the narrator wasn't anywhere near the stage, Levi darted his eyes around in search for Armin.

"Armin, where are you-?"

"Sorry!" the boy rushed past Levi with a great deal of enthusiasm, carrying his big narrator book under one arm as he headed towards his spot on the stage.

Unfortunately, just as soon as Armin made his appearance, he tripped over his feet and landed face first onto the floor. Just as the audience gave a small gasp, Levi palmed his face into his hand at the unraveling disaster of this play while Armin picked himself up - with an unbroken concentration - and continued his part.

"And so Mary and Joseph-" Armin sniffed loudly, making Levi aware that the boy's nose was flowing with blood – but did not hinder his performance with the exception to the occasional sniff, "-headed towards Bethlehem – riding their donkey to the nearest inn in the small town. But because all the inns were full they could not find a place to rest. So they asked the last inn if they could stay in the stables instead."

Fellow teacher Hanje walked on with a wad of tissue to hold against Armin's nose and lead the boy off stage, sending a grin Levi's way. It was probably meant to be a good gesture - as if saying 'hang in there', but it felt like she was mocking him. At least once this play was all over he could go home with a beverage of his choice from a nearby store and forget that this night ever happened.  
Levi pulled the inner curtain open from the side of the stage, revealing a small painted cardboard stable with Connie and Sasha dressed as a cow and a goat sitting inside… whilst eating chips from a large packet of Doritos. Levi stared at them with disbelief as Tomas the inn-keeper showed Mikasa and Eren the stable with an already made manger sitting in the center. Noticing snacks nearby, Eren was about to grab a chip from his fellow classmates - until the warning glare of his teacher stopped him in his tracks, making him stick closer to Mikasa's side in fear of Levi's wrath.

On another part of the stage Krista seemed to be cured of her stage fright, providing that Ymir was holding her hand while she said her lines. This was a bit problematic when Krista was telling the Wise men; Annie, Bertolt and Reiner, to follow the star that would lead them to the stable of the new born king. The three just stared blankly at Ymir who responded to their silence with;

"Use your damn imagination and walk over there you idiots."

Levi had hoped that everything would go smoothly from there on once they got closer to the end. All the kids had to do were gather on stage around the Jesus doll as Levi recite Armin's lines and call it a night. However, his hopes were shattered by an angry Jean dressed as a shepherd and stomping towards Eren - with Marco dressed as a sheep trailing after him.

"I would have been a better Joseph than you stink head!"  
"What you say!?"

'_Damn these brats. Damn these brats to the sixth layer of Barney the dinosaur hell._'  
Levi pinched his nose as the argument escalated. Before the teacher could even raise his head to stop the argument, the carnage had already begun with Eren grabbing the baby Jesus doll by the ankle and using it to club Jean over the head.

"No Eren, our baby." Was Mikasa's soft spoken response to the situation before her, as Jean fought back by smacking his crook on the side of Eren's head.

This began a domino effect when Eren fell backwards into Annie -who then fell onto Reiner – who then fell onto Bertolt before finally falling onto the cardboard set, which collapsed onto Connie and Sasha as the two boys began to tackle each other. As Mikasa tried to Hold back Eren as Marco did with Jean, Levi decided that enough was enough. He stormed over to the two boys – pulled them apart by their shirt collars, causing Marco and Mikasa to lose their grip, and turned to the audience as calmy as Levi could. This was not the Nativity play anyone had in mind. It was suppose to be the same boring retelling of the nativity whilst parents watched out for their adorable kids doing cute stuff. But instead they got the disaster of Christmas disasters.

What was Petra even thinking to leave him in charge of these brats and how the hell did she even manage to handle this class of destructive children in the first place? How did she manage to get them to do the rehearsal without any problems at all?  
Glaring at the Principle Erwin Smith, who was currently pissing himself in a fit of silent laughter as Zacharius recorded the whole messy event – Levi spoke up clear and evenly;

"This concludes our Nativity play. Merry Christmas."

There was another awkward silence, perhaps enough to leave with whatever dignity may have remained - only to be shortly broken by Marco screaming, as he fell through the trap-door nobody even knew existed on the stage until that very moment. Levi sighed, vowing to never having anything to do with Christmas performances ever again.

* * *

Author's note

It's been a long time since I have written a fanfic (whoa, six years in fact and on another account haha) - so I apologize for all the terrible spelling and grammar this fic may contain. I wrote this for the livejournal Advent Challenge - and I just liked the idea of Levi being annoyed by small children. I hope you guys got some enjoyment out of this :)


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